before i started medically transitioning, i was battling severe dysphoria and crippling anxiety that made it impossible to even step foot in a gym. the one time i tried, i had a panic attack and locked myself in a room for a day, completely losing it. i was stuck in damaging habits—restricting my food intake, binding my chest for hours, and self-medicating (sorry, mom). i was underweight, physically weak, and lacked the strength to make better choices for myself. despite feeling so awful, i couldn’t break through that wall of self-consciousness. then i started testosterone. suddenly, eating wasn’t a chore, the gym wasn’t nightmare fuel, and i started gaining just enough muscle to motivate me to keep going. nobody else might have noticed at first, and sometimes i struggled to see it myself, but the changes were there. over time, it felt like my body and i were finally speaking the same language. don’t get me wrong, i don’t consider myself a gym bro, half of the times i’m not sure what i’m doing, and i’m far from the biggest guy in the room, but i’m learning to recognize that even if my changes from hrt aren’t immediate or dramatic, they’ve been incredibly transformative and i’m allowed to be proud of that. so, i want to encourage those of you who may be in a spot similar to where i was before: give it a try. learn to connect with your body in a way that feels natural and supportive. you deserve it. anyway, that’s all. i love you guys. xoxo #ftm #dysphoria #transmasc #hrtsaveslives #enby #lgbt #trans
i love you guys very much and i wish i could sit here energized to make a difference but i simply cannot. truth is im lost, im scared, im discouraged & i dont have it in me to transmute that energy into motivation rn. please stay safe & know that im rooting for you always. #trans #enby #lgbt #2024elections #voteblue2024💙