Nadia Addesi

And she will. Four years ago, I went through the wildest experience of my life. There were many calls with the police, but the one I’ll never forget was when the officer advised me to leave the country. I was receiving daily death threats from someone who hated me so much, I had no choice but to leave. I had to move. I had to stop practicing. I had to look over my shoulder every minute. I had to miss important moments with the people I love most. And I had to change. Not because I wanted to, but because I was scared. It was clear this person knew things about me they shouldn’t have. The messages weren’t just words, they were specific, unsettling, and felt way too personal. This all started because I posted mental health videos and because I’m a young woman. I get so many comments asking, “What happened to your content?” or “ I miss your old content” and this is the answer. It hasn’t been easy coming back. Getting in front of the camera again, or even finding the same love for this work, has been hard because of what it took from me. Every time I post, I’m in survival mode. But I’m done letting someone else control my narrative. I’d be lying if I said the fear was completely gone, but I’m finding that love for this again, more and more as I reconnect with this community and what it stands for. I’ll share more soon. But for now, it just feels good to get it out there.

TIPS HERE: One of the biggest things I struggle with because of ADHD is executive dysfunction. I know I am not alone with this as executive dysfunction is a common challenge among those with ADHD. If you don’t already know, executive dysfunction disrupts the brain’s ability to regulate and manage higher-level functions. Sometimes it feels like what I said in this video, the desire to do things but feeling stuck. For years I thought it was laziness & a lack of motivation but it’s not. People who struggle with this often: - have time blindness - have a hard time organizing their thoughts & actions - struggle to start projects or complete projects - feel unproductive - procrastinate - forget things easily - dissociate - struggle with mood Note: this does not just apply to ADHD , but can also occur in other neurodevelopmental or neurological disorders. Here are some tips I have been implementing to help myself & my clients: 1. Break all your tasks into smaller tasks. When I say small, I truly mean small such 5-10 minutes. Larger tasks overwhelm us, we need to make them seem more manageable. 2. Set visual reminders! Put sticky notes around, write things down on paper or even use the background of your home screen to remind you what you need to be done 3. Recently, we had @nasneuro on our podcast who gave the amazing suggestion of doing the most difficult or dreadful task first. Once you get this out of the way, the motivation will follow 4. Establish routines. I know, this is a common suggestion for ADHD but it’s for a reason. Having a consistent schedule can help reduce decision-making fatigue and increase productivity. 5. Have an accountability partner where you both check in one one another and hold each other accountable. This will help you have more of a reason to complete your tasks 6. Make sure your basics are taken care of. Ensure you’re sleeping, eating & moving your body! Ib @olivialutfallah ❤️ . . #MentalHealth #anxiety #trauma #unhealedtrauma #depression #stress #ptsd #complextrauma #cptsd #motivation #procrastination #wellness

My favourite quote as a therapist.

Why do I stay up so late even when I’m exhausted? As a therapist, I hear this question all the time, especially from trauma survivors. For a lot of people, those late-night hours feel like the only time life slows down enough to breathe. If you grew up in a chaotic or emotionally unpredictable environment, nighttime may have been the only time things felt calm or safe. You weren’t getting interrupted, judged, or expected to be “on.” Staying up became your way of claiming peace and control. Even in adult relationships, that same pattern can show up. Maybe you find yourself up scrolling late at night after a long day of caregiving, people pleasing, or navigating conflict because it feels like your time…no pressure, no demands, just quiet. Remember: If staying up late is truly your peaceful time and it works for your life, there’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t need to change what’s working for you. But if it’s impacting your overall health, sleep, or daily functioning, if you’re waking up exhausted and it’s affecting your ability to be present or productive, here are a few tips to help shift that pattern: 1️⃣ Create a mini version of your nighttime peace earlier in the day. Set aside even 10 to 15 minutes where you can fully relax and do something calming for yourself without guilt. 2️⃣ Set a calming nighttime routine. Dim the lights, put your phone on “Do Not Disturb,” or read something soothing to help signal your brain it’s safe to rest. 3️⃣ Journal or reflect before bed. Write down anything on your mind, even just random thoughts, so your brain doesn’t feel like it needs to stay awake to hold onto them. 4️⃣ Start small. You don’t need to suddenly start going to bed hours earlier. Try easing back by 15 minutes at a time to slowly adjust your body to the new schedule. Remember, the goal isn’t to force yourself into something unnatural. It’s about figuring out what balance feels supportive for you and prioritizing your well-being on your own terms. 💛

Most people don’t realize this, but your brain is constantly searching for evidence to confirm the stories you tell it. It’s called confirmation bias, and it happens whether we’re aware of it or not. For example, if you tell yourself, “Nothing ever works out for me,” your brain will start scanning your life for proof of that, zeroing in on every setback or failure, while conveniently ignoring any moments of success or progress. It doesn’t mean your life is actually full of failure, it just means you’ve conditioned your brain to notice only the evidence that fits that belief. This happens because our brains are wired to conserve energy and make quick judgments. It’s easier for your brain to stick with the familiar patterns of thought than to challenge them, even if those patterns don’t serve you. So, when you repeatedly tell yourself something, your brain locks onto it like a truth and begins to filter out anything that contradicts it. If you start asking different questions, your brain will start looking for evidence to match those. For example, instead of saying, “Nothing ever works out for me,” try asking, “What if things are actually working out for me, even in small ways?” This simple shift in perspective can help rewire your brain to seek out moments of success, progress, and growth. You start noticing the things that are working, even if they’re subtle or small, and you begin to build a new narrative for yourself. Ib - @Terra Joy 🥀

Something I see very often as a therapist is adults who carry a deep fear of getting in trouble, even though they aren’t children anymore. This fear usually doesn’t make a lot of logical sense in the present, which is why so many people feel confused by it. But it makes perfect sense when you look at where it started. If you grew up in a home where mistakes were met with anger, withdrawal, silence, or shame, your nervous system learned early on that getting it “wrong” wasn’t safe. You learned to associate mistakes with emotional consequences-disappointment, rejection, or being made to feel like a burden. Over time, your system adapted. You became cautious. You learned how to avoid conflict, stay small, and stay out of trouble. Now, even though you have more control over your life, that fear is still in your body. It gets activated in moments that seem harmless on the surface, but your nervous system doesn’t know the difference between then and now. Tips- Start by noticing when this fear shows up. Awareness is the first step to interrupting the old pattern. Remind yourself that you’re not in the same environment anymore. You’re allowed to take up space, make mistakes, and be human. Give yourself the reassurance you needed back then. Even just saying to yourself, “I’m not in trouble. I didn’t do anything wrong,” can be calming in the moment. Get curious instead of critical. Ask, “What does this part of me need right now?” instead of pushing it away. For parents who are unsure how to address mistakes without being too harsh or too lenient, when a child makes a mistake, the most important thing you can do is stay connected. That doesn’t mean ignoring the behaviour, it means addressing it without shaming them. Mistakes are an opportunity to teach, not to punish. Speak to them calmly, help them understand what went wrong, and remind them that they’re still loved, even when they mess up. That’s how you build a secure attachment, by showing them that their worth isn’t tied to being perfect.

Our minds and bodies have an incredible ability to protect us. When we experience trauma or prolonged stress, we develop coping mechanisms to survive. These mechanisms become our identity. These behaviors aren’t flaws; they were survival strategies. But as we grow, they can limit us. They keep us trapped in patterns that no longer serve us, even though they once helped us feel safe. The truth is, healing isn’t about erasing these parts of ourselves. It’s about understanding them, letting go of the patterns that no longer serve us, and creating a new way of being that is not defined by our pain. To move forward, you need to start by recognizing these patterns for what they are: ways your body and mind have tried to protect you. There is no shame in them. But now, it’s time to move through them with intention. Here are a few steps to begin: 1. Observe without judgment. When you find yourself isolating or pushing people away, stop and observe. What triggered this response? Is it an old wound asking for attention? 2. Feel your feelings, not just your fears. Fear is often the loudest voice, but beneath it, there are deeper emotions. Allow yourself to feel anger, sadness, grief, or disappointment without trying to push them away. 3. Create safety in the present. Healing doesn’t happen in the past or future. It happens now. Ground yourself in the present moment through breathing, connecting with nature, or simply sitting with yourself. 4. Challenge your story. If your pain has been your identity for so long, it’s easy to believe it defines you. But you are not your pain. Challenge the stories you’ve told yourself about who you are. You can rewrite them. 5. Set small, compassionate goals. Take it one step at a time. Don’t pressure yourself to “fix” everything at once. Small changes add up. Celebrate every bit of progress. Healing is not about erasing your past; it’s about choosing to no longer let it control your future. You don’t have to hold onto the identity built around your pain anymore. You are allowed to let go and grow into who you are becoming.

Bilateral music stimulation like you’re hearing here involves listening to music that alternates between the left and right ears. This technique is believed to be helpful for people with stress, anxiety or ADHD as it helps us reprocess certain experiences as well as promote relaxation and focus. Bilateral music stimulation may help reduce anxiety and enhance emotional regulation by activating the brain’s calming systems. The alternating music can create a sense of safety and grounding, while helping us reprocess traumatic memories. For people with ADHD, this technique can help improve attention and executive function. Some studies suggest this happens by engaging both sides of our brain which helps us increase focus. Please note that while there is research to promote the benefits of this, it is not a standalone treatment and varied based on each person ❤️ let me know what you think of this! Artist @Isabella Kensington . . . . . #MentalHealth #anxiety #trauma #unhealedtrauma #depression #stress #ptsd #complextrauma #cptsd #motivation #procrastination #wellness #therapy #therapist #mentalhealthmatters #socialanxiety #bpd #bipolar #dsm #adhd

As a therapist, this is a connection I see a lot.

Growing up in a home where yelling was the norm leaves a lasting imprint on us, especially when it comes to how we navigate emotions as adults. If you were often met with raised voices or tension instead of calm understanding, it’s no surprise that you might struggle with feeling safe in disagreements now. The feeling of walking on eggshells as a child can translate into anxiety as an adult, making you hyperaware of others’ emotions—constantly scanning for signs that something’s about to escalate. This vigilance, though a survival mechanism in childhood, can leave you second-guessing your own feelings, unsure whether what you’re experiencing is valid or whether you need to silence yourself to avoid conflict. In adult relationships, this can lead to shutting down or, on the flip side, over-explaining—both attempts to control or defuse the situation, even if that means losing yourself in the process. The pattern is subtle but powerful. It shapes how we show up for ourselves and others. If you find yourself navigating conversations with a sense of unease, trying to keep the peace at the expense of your own needs, it’s important to acknowledge where that comes from. Healing from this doesn’t happen overnight, but the first step is recognizing how your past still shows up in your present. It’s okay to set boundaries, trust your own emotions, and learn that disagreements don’t have to be synonymous with danger. You deserve to be heard and respected, without feeling like you need to keep the peace by compromising yourself.

If you’ve gone through periods where happiness or joy was followed by pain, loss, or disappointment, your nervous system may have adapted by associating moments of joy with danger. Your brain, always looking to protect you, interprets those joyful moments as vulnerable spaces that could lead to harm or heartache, making you more prone to avoiding happiness altogether. Some tips to help: 1. Acknowledge the Fear: The first step is recognizing that your fear of happiness isn’t irrational, it’s a learned survival mechanism. Understanding that this is a response to your past experiences can help you approach it with compassion, rather than shame. 2. Ground Yourself in the Present: When joy or happiness arises, it’s normal to feel anxious or like something bad is about to happen. Take a moment to ground yourself in the present, feel your feet on the ground, your breath in your body. This helps shift your focus from the fear of the future to the reality of the present. 3. Reframe the Narrative: Your mind may have learned to associate joy with bad outcomes, but that doesn’t mean it’s true. Begin to challenge those thoughts. Remind yourself that happiness doesn’t always lead to pain. Instead, let it be a reminder that you are worthy of good things, and you can embrace joy without fearing what comes next. 4. Somatic Practices: Trauma is stored in the body, which is why grounding techniques, deep breathing, or gentle movement can help release stored tension and regulate your nervous system. Practices like yoga, body scans, or even simple stretching can help you reconnect with your body and create space for joy. 5. Set Small Goals for Joy: Start by incorporating small moments of joy into your life, whether it’s watching a funny movie, spending time with loved ones, or doing something that makes you feel good. As you slowly build up these positive moments, your body and mind will start to recognize that happiness doesn’t always lead to danger ❤️

Most of us were never taught to recognize our own behaviors, let alone understand where they come from. Instead, we’re told to “just stop overthinking,” “be more disciplined,” or “stop caring so much.” But these behaviors aren’t random. They’re patterns, ones your brain learned for a reason. Denying them doesn’t make them go away. It just keeps you stuck, repeating cycles of procrastination, people-pleasing, perfectionism, zoning out, and self-sabotage without ever realizing why. That’s why understanding your behaviors is so important. When you recognize why you do something, you can work with yourself instead of against yourself. You can start shifting patterns instead of feeling controlled by them. This was inspired by @selfexperimenting, who dives deep into these topics and explains them in a way that’s incredibly insightful.

I created this guide because so many of us are trying to manage intense emotions without ever learning how. We’re told to “calm down” or “take a breath,” but when your nervous system is activated, those things aren’t always accessible, especially if you don’t know what your body actually needs. Self-regulation isn’t about being calm all the time. It’s about understanding your system, noticing what state you’re in, and learning how to support yourself through it. Not to fix it, not to avoid it but to move through it in a way that’s grounded and safe. Because you don’t need to be “less sensitive” or “more in control.” You just need the right kind of support.

Relationships are a reflection of how we treat ourselves and each other. The small moments, the way we handle disagreements, give space, and show care, are what build trust. I’ve learned that it’s not about avoiding conflict, but about how we handle it. It’s about showing up for each other in ways that honor who we are, and being honest with ourselves and our partners when things get tough. We don’t play games or use each other’s vulnerabilities as weapons. We don’t expect everything to revolve around us. And we don’t throw ultimatums around when the going gets hard. At the end of the day, it’s the little things, the respect, the care, the honesty, that create something real. That’s what matters most. So, what would you add? What’s non-negotiable for you in a relationship?

A lot of the struggles we face as adults can trace back to the patterns we developed as children, patterns we didn’t even realize were shaping us and who we would be. We internalized these behaviors to survive, but they don’t serve us as adults. In order to heal, we need to remove the parts of our identity that were built from our pain. If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone, and it’s never too late to change. One of the first steps to healing is recognizing these old patterns. Once you see them for what they are (survival strategies from childhood) you can start to unlearn them. Here are some ways to begin shifting: 1. Stop measuring your worth through achievements. Start practicing self-compassion by acknowledging that you are enough, just as you are, even when you’re not performing or accomplishing something. 2. Acknowledge your feelings. It’s okay to feel sad, upset, or frustrated. Your emotions are valid. Start expressing them, even if it feels uncomfortable at first, and practice reaching out to others instead of isolating 3. Set boundaries. Prioritize yourself. It’s okay to say no. Your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s, and taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for your well-being. 4. Learn to express anger or sadness healthily. If anger or sadness was something you were shamed for, begin to acknowledge it in a safe, controlled way. It’s normal to feel these things, what matters is how you manage it. 5. Practice emotional awareness. If you’ve spent years walking on eggshells or being hyper-aware of others’ moods, it’s time to reclaim your space. You are not responsible for keeping the peace or managing others’ emotions. It’s okay to let go of that burden. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but every small step you take towards breaking these old patterns is progress. You deserve to live freely and authentically, without feeling like you have to prove your worth or hide your feelings. Start with compassion for yourself and take it one day at a time. 🫶🏼

A lot of the habits we struggle with today can be traced back to our childhood experiences, especially if we grew up in environments where emotional safety was unpredictable or even toxic. When we’re young, we don’t have the tools to process our emotions or understand why certain things happen to us. So, we adapt by developing coping mechanisms—often ones that helped us survive back then but no longer serve us in adulthood. As children, we might have learned that showing vulnerability led to criticism or rejection, or that our needs and feelings didn’t matter. We may have picked up habits like people-pleasing, perfectionism, or emotional shutdowns as ways to avoid conflict, rejection, or punishment. These behaviors kept us safe and allowed us to cope in ways we thought we needed at the time, but as adults, they can hold us back from living fully and authentically. So, how do we break these patterns? 1. Acknowledge the root cause: The first step is recognizing that these habits weren’t personal flaws; they were learned coping mechanisms from our childhood. Understanding this can help us be kinder to ourselves and remove any shame attached to these behaviors. 2. Practice self-awareness: Pay attention to when these patterns show up. Are you avoiding conflict because you’re afraid of rejection? Are you overworking to avoid feeling unworthy? Identifying these triggers is key to breaking the cycle. 3. Challenge old beliefs: Often, these habits are tied to old beliefs about ourselves—like not being good enough or not deserving of love unless we’re perfect. Question these beliefs and replace them with healthier ones. Remind yourself that you are worthy just as you are, imperfections and all. 4. Create new, healthier coping strategies: Once you recognize your old patterns, start practicing new ways of coping with difficult situations. Set boundaries, say no without guilt, allow yourself to rest, and express your feelings. Small changes add up over time. 5. Seek support: Healing from childhood conditioning takes time and often requires support from others—whether through therapy, support groups, or trusted loved ones. Having a safe space to process these patterns is crucial for growth.

Acceptance is resisting the urge to over explain to get them to change their mind ❤️. . . . #MentalHealth #anxiety #trauma #unhealedtrauma #depression #stress #ptsd #complextrauma #cptsd #motivation #procrastination #wellness #therapy #therapist #mentalhealthmatters #socialanxiety #bpd #bipolar #dsm #adhd

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to getting things done. Some of us thrive on structure, while others need flexibility. Some of us work best with focused sprints, while others need regular breaks. It’s time to stop forcing ourselves into methods that drain us and start using strategies that actually support how we operate 🫶🏼

Have you had this thought before? When you are made to believe that you are unlikeable and undeserving of love/relationships, you can trick yourself into thinking that you manipulated everyone in your life to like you. This is common among people who struggle with low self worth and past trauma. Establishing relationships by being caring, empathetic and compassionate is not manipulation. You try to establish connection by being mindful of the thoughts and feelings of those around you. You are seen for who you are and you are loved for a reason ❤️ Ib: magaroni_and_cheese . . . . . #MentalHealth #anxiety #trauma #unhealedtrauma #depression #stress #ptsd #complextrauma #cptsd #motivation #procrastination #wellness #therapy #therapist #mentalhealthmatters #socialanxiety #bpd #bipolar #dsm